If both you and your partner know that you want to stay together and are working to restore or repair your relationship in some way, Relationship Therapy can help you.
Theoretical Orientation:
Our clinical orientation for Relationship Therapy is based on Attachment Theory and is influenced by leaders in the field such Esther Perel, LMFT, Dr. Sue Johnson, Dr. Stan Tatkin, and Dr. John Gottman. The practice of attachment-based therapies promotes secure, resilient, successful relationships between people by helping them become aware of their emotional responses and of their underlying needs for love and attachment to other people. When you feel threatened or insecure in your relationship, do you need reassurance and interaction with your partner? Or do you prefer to distance yourself and avoid further interaction? Your attachment style plays a key role in how you manage (or don’t manage) conflict, and understanding how you interplay off of each other (and trigger each other) can go a long way in preventing every day interactions from escalating into vicious fights. Increasing positivity, connection, friendship and intimacy are also key components of successful relationship repair.
More than Two:
Eversfield Counseling & Therapy has a special focus on committed relationships that, for one reason or another, involve one or more people outside of the primary relationship, such as exes, affair partners, or additional partners, as in consensual non-monogamy. For the most part, the therapy in the room involves the primary couple only. However, from time to time, it may be indicated for the therapist to meet with other relevant individuals. This would only be done with express permission from the primary couple, and we would fully discuss the implications before proceeding.
Confidentiality:
At Eversfield Counseling & Therapy, we don’t believe in building a “house of cards” based on false premises. Therapy only works if we are able to talk about what is honestly and authentically going on for each of the partners involved. Because some of the relationship issues we focus on are so delicate (e.g., discovery of an affair), we regularly offer some individual time to each partner during the course of a standard relationship therapy session, to give us the space to check in privately with each partner, and to assess whether there are issues that do not yet feel safe to bring into the joint conversations.
Although we believe that honesty is important to both relationships and to relationship therapy in the long-run, we understand that the timing and manner of disclosing sensitive information involves judgement. For that reason, we do not have a “No Secrets” policy. (“No Secrets” means that we would consider anything that one partner discloses to the therapist in private to be “fair game” to discuss with the other partner.) As a result, at times your therapist may have more information about aspects of your relationship, or about outside factors, than you may have yourself. Your therapist will not be able to indefinitely continue to provide Relationship Therapy while holding on to secrets that could be harmful to the other partner, but your therapist will, indeed, maintain confidentiality while these issues are sorted out. If you or your partner do not feel comfortable knowing that your therapist may know more about your partner’s situation than you do, you may want to consider some other relationship therapy practices that do maintain a “No Secrets” policy.
Process:
Our recommended Relationship Therapy treatment plan consists of a series of 90-minute sessions, usually conducted weekly, at least at the onset. However, there is a good deal of flexibility in both session time (from 60-120 minutes per session) and in overall length of treatment (anywhere from a few sessions up to several months or more) based on your own particular circumstances and needs.